Explanations

Recently I became fed up with the lies, insinuations and manipulations of my parents, so I wrote a blog post about my love story to set the record straight. As you can imagine, it set off fireworks in my parents’ household and sparked outrage in some of my siblings. It wouldn’t, shouldn’t, have, except my parents have done a marvelous job indoctrinating their children from birth in their fundamental, patriarchal, narcissistic thinking and belief system. 

You see, they neglected to indoctrinate and isolate me from birth, but started rather late, around the age of eleven or so and then, shortly thereafter, joined a cult. Not that I didn’t enjoy the same Bible-thumping, hell and damnation, you’re-a-sinner-and-you’ll-always-be-a-sinner teaching that my siblings got. However, by age 12 I had already enjoyed too much freedom to observe how other people interacted, decide how I was going to behave in any given situation, and begin to decide if I agreed with my parents or not. To them I was a rebel; how dare I question them on anything, think what I wanted instead of what they expected, and try to be an individual apart from them.  Continue reading

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How I Survived Homeschooling in Bill Gothard’s Program

With much encouragement from my husband I’m sharing my experiences with Bill Gothard and the ugly influence of Gothard’s Institute for Basic Life Principles (IBLP) and Advanced Training Institute (ATI – his homeschool program) teachings on my life. After reading many of the experiences of others I felt that my story would just be redundant, since we all seem to share similarities. My husband assures me that what I learned and how I dealt with Gothard would help someone –  and so I hope.

The beginnings of what I think of as my personal “Dark Ages” started in my 13th year (Aug. 1988), a year after being pulled out of public school to home educate. There’s nothing like being told the day 7th grade started, and after taking all the trouble to get ready that morning – clothes on, check; hair done, check; makeup, check; pep talk, check – to “never mind going to school, you’ll be doing that at home from now on.” With my foot out the door and my bag over my shoulder, I thought it was a joke. When I realized they were serious and asked why, I was told that I was “out of control and rebellious, so to bring you into line you’re being taught at home.” That inspires cooperation! Continue reading

How the Fundamentalist and Patriarchal Teachings Can Create Abusive Atmospheres: Part 3

So, what do Patriarchal teachings consist of, beyond what I’ve already discussed? I think this excerpt from Wikipedia lists it succinctly for us.

*God reveals Himself as masculine, not feminine.

*God ordained distinct gender roles for man and woman as part of the created order.

*A husband and father is the head of his household, a family leader, provider, and protector. Continue reading

How the Fundamentalist and Patriarchal Teachings Can Create Abusive Atmospheres: Part 2

So Josh Duggar saw the error of his ways 12 years ago, repented and whatever else they say he did. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. According to the teachings on how to deal with abuse in the system they prescribe to, all he needed to do was repent, ask forgiveness, and take the consequences that his authority figure (Dad) subscribed. Did you notice the lack of talk about the poor girls? Other than they forgave him. Based on my own experiences within the cultish teachings, I think those girls were told what to do and say, who they were allowed to talk to, and given an excuse for Josh that most likely involved the girls somehow bringing it on themselves (i.e. you really shouldn’t have sat on his lap, it’s inappropriate to ask your brother to scratch your back, you know you’re not to be alone in a room with a boy). They were made to feel guilty for his actions. Continue reading

How the Fundamentalist and Patriarchal Teachings Can Create Abusive Atmospheres: Part 1

It’s taken me a couple of weeks, or more, since the scandal about the Duggars came to light to write my thoughts about it. You might be thinking, why bother, they don’t have anything to do with you, that’s their private business. I agree, up to a point. 1:They are public figures and as such are held to a high standard.  2: The homeschool “curriculum” they use is at the core of why Josh Duggar abused his sisters and babysitter – I too was put through the same teachings growing up.

You’re probably tired of reading about the Duggars by now. I am too. However, for me there is an intensely personal reason that I’m writing about the crap that’s hit the fan. I want to shed a little light on the teachings and atmosphere that the Duggars and thousands of other kids have been raised in since around 1970 (and before) through a particular theology, which creates a perfect atmosphere for abuse, especially sexual abuse. Continue reading

A life changing decision

“What single decision changed your life?” I read this question in the “Real Simple” magazine and I thought I would post my answer here.  I would love to hear what single decision changed your life! Let me know if you post something like this on your site please. 🙂

What single decision changed your life?

Wow! There are so many decisions to choose from, it’s hard to pick just one! However, I can trace the many decisions back to one in my teen years, which changed my life’s path for the better. Continue reading