Recently I became fed up with the lies, insinuations and manipulations of my parents, so I wrote a blog post about my love story to set the record straight. As you can imagine, it set off fireworks in my parents’ household and sparked outrage in some of my siblings. It wouldn’t, shouldn’t, have, except my parents have done a marvelous job indoctrinating their children from birth in their fundamental, patriarchal, narcissistic thinking and belief system.
You see, they neglected to indoctrinate and isolate me from birth, but started rather late, around the age of eleven or so and then, shortly thereafter, joined a cult. Not that I didn’t enjoy the same Bible-thumping, hell and damnation, you’re-a-sinner-and-you’ll-always-be-a-sinner teaching that my siblings got. However, by age 12 I had already enjoyed too much freedom to observe how other people interacted, decide how I was going to behave in any given situation, and begin to decide if I agreed with my parents or not. To them I was a rebel; how dare I question them on anything, think what I wanted instead of what they expected, and try to be an individual apart from them. Continue reading
Warning: this is a long, extremely personal letter, so get a drink and get comfortable. Also, the next post will give background on why I sent this letter to my parents now.
Mom and Papa, 7-15-2016
I’m writing you so that there will be less chance of miscommunication between us. And, let’s face it, if, or when, we meet in person there is the possibility of emotions getting in the way of actual talking.
You are saying that I’ve been unwilling to come and talk with you. It is true that over the past several years I have had no desire to talk about anything with you. Your standard reply, from about the time I was 11 or so, has been that you don’t know what I’m talking about, I have caused the trouble since I didn’t come to you first (even if you were the cause), I should “check my heart for sin”, and/or I’m confused, wrong, a liar. This is confusing behavior, since you taught me that when someone “has anything against you”, you must listen to them, sincerely apologize, think through what they said and make a change in behavior according to what was done wrongly. I have never observed this happen between us from either of you to me. I distinctly recall me apologizing repeatedly to you both after I brought my grievances to you, which isn’t right, since one doesn’t apologize for what others do or say to one. Continue reading
So, what do Patriarchal teachings consist of, beyond what I’ve already discussed? I think this excerpt from Wikipedia lists it succinctly for us.
*God reveals Himself as masculine, not feminine.
*God ordained distinct gender roles for man and woman as part of the created order.
*A husband and father is the head of his household, a family leader, provider, and protector. Continue reading
So Josh Duggar saw the error of his ways 12 years ago, repented and whatever else they say he did. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. According to the teachings on how to deal with abuse in the system they prescribe to, all he needed to do was repent, ask forgiveness, and take the consequences that his authority figure (Dad) subscribed. Did you notice the lack of talk about the poor girls? Other than they forgave him. Based on my own experiences within the cultish teachings, I think those girls were told what to do and say, who they were allowed to talk to, and given an excuse for Josh that most likely involved the girls somehow bringing it on themselves (i.e. you really shouldn’t have sat on his lap, it’s inappropriate to ask your brother to scratch your back, you know you’re not to be alone in a room with a boy). They were made to feel guilty for his actions. Continue reading
It’s taken me a couple of weeks, or more, since the scandal about the Duggars came to light to write my thoughts about it. You might be thinking, why bother, they don’t have anything to do with you, that’s their private business. I agree, up to a point. 1:They are public figures and as such are held to a high standard. 2: The homeschool “curriculum” they use is at the core of why Josh Duggar abused his sisters and babysitter – I too was put through the same teachings growing up.
You’re probably tired of reading about the Duggars by now. I am too. However, for me there is an intensely personal reason that I’m writing about the crap that’s hit the fan. I want to shed a little light on the teachings and atmosphere that the Duggars and thousands of other kids have been raised in since around 1970 (and before) through a particular theology, which creates a perfect atmosphere for abuse, especially sexual abuse. Continue reading